The loony and the Akatsuki
by JumpingBunny23
Summary: Say hi to Alexandra Espion. A original loony. Long story short. Save her! Rated M for adult content. PS: I do not own anything from Naruto. That right still belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one: a second chance and a show

A/N: Please don't take off my head for this! I have decided to start another story. I have read one similar to this but now I will be putting up my own one that doesn't have anything to do with that one. So please. Enjoy, read and review! Oh and there will be a poll somewhere along the third chapter!

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A young girl is standing in an allyway, she is scared. Today just wasn't her day. First she gets bullied at school for being an anime freak and now she's being attacked by a gang of men. Great day right? A man steps away from a gang towards the girl. She is shaking with fear.

"What are you scared of girlie?" The man asks in a deep, mocking voice. "Not me I hope." He adds. The girl sheds a tear but does not speak. She is backed up against a wall with no escape, but one. A knife in her hands.

With a shaking voice and a small smirk she replies. "I'm not scared of dying." Then she plunges the knife deep into her heart before the gang can figure out what she meant. Her lifeless body crumples to the floor, a stream of crimson flowing from her chest.

"The boss is so going to kill us." One of the other guys grumbled walking away. The group of men left the dead girl lying there. Unbeknownst to either the girl disappears.

The girl opens her eyes to a blinding light. "Where am I?" She asks placing a hand infront of her cerulean eyes.

"A place to get a second chance." A soft, calming voice speaks a few feet infront of the girl.

"Why would I need a second chance?" She asks bewildered.

"Because it was not your time to die yet, Alex." The voice says. The girl, now known as Alex, removes her hand from her face to look at a figure. It is a woman with a shimering white cloak that covers half her face.

"Who are you, or what are you?" Alex asks with a worried face. The woman stands there for a moment then replies.

"I am Negane, one of the creators, what of, you will have to figure out by yourself. For now, you will be helping a few people and you will be given life again." Negane said. Alex looked at Negane for a moment.

"Awesome!" Alex says with a big smile. Negane smiled back.

"But beware. You will be sent to another dimension." And with that Alex was plunged into darkness.

"Another dimension." She repeated to herself while it felt like she was floating. "I never thought that if I died, or well in this case I stabbed myself, that I would get sent to another dimension with a second chance at life." Suddenly she was filled with joy.

The floating feeling felt like forever until there was a mixture of different colours and Alex was lying on a stone floor in a dark room, lit with only a few candles.

"Where am-" before she could finish her sentence Alex was met with a disturbing orange sight.

"Deidara-sempai! Tobi has something to show sempai!" A man with a swirly mask, that resembled a lillopop, said prancing, yes prancing, over to a man/woman with blond hair.

"Get away from me, un!" The man/woman said pushing the guy with the swirly mask away from him. Alex pushed herself from the floor, her black hair trailing behind her.

"So these must be some of the people I need to help." She thought aloud. "Hmmm. It seems like they can't hear me." Alex then proceeded to stand up from the floor to get a better look at her surroundings. "And to make things worse. Where in the seven hells am I?!" She yelled.

"But Deidara-sempai." The swirly guy whined. Alex turned her attention back to the others in the room. It seems like five more came in while she was arguing with herself.

"Someone shut that fucking idiot up." A guy with slicked back silver hair grumbled while flopping into the chair behind Alex.

"Someone should shut you up." Another guy with blue skin, that resembled a shark, said sitting in another chair infront of Alex.

"Everyone should just keep quiet." A guy with too many piercings to count shouted above the ruckuss. Then there was a guy with red hair and he seemed a little young, then came a guy with black hair pulled back in a low ponytail with bangs framing his face.

Alex looked at the group of people in the room. Her face blank and her voice failing her. 'T-t-the Akatsuki!' She screamed in her head while backing into a table. A clay spider landed on her hand and she picked it up, staring at the marvel.

"Ummm. Who is doing that?" The guy with the silver hair said pointing in Alex's direction. It looked like the clay spider was floating in mid air. Everyone in the room turned to look at the spired floating six feet in the air.

"Itachi." The guy with the piercings ordered. It seems that the guy with the black hair tied in a low pony knew what to do, because his eyes swirled red.

"Eh...ah...Hi." Alex smiled and waved at the sort of wide eyed Itachi. She stepped forward and put the spider down. 'Negane! Please bring me back to life now! I know who they are! And I know how to help them!' She screamed in her thoughts at the creator. Meanwhile the Akatsuki stood in the livingroom staring at Alex.

"Whered the girl come from?!" The shark guy, Kisame, yelled jumping behind a chair. Alex waved her hands infront of her face quickly.

"I'm not an intruder! So there's no need to kill me!" She said super fast. 'Negane! Why did it have-' before she could finish her mental argument a cold blade was pressed against her neck. Alex froze, her breathing stopped, her heart raced and her eyes grew wide.

"Who are you and how did you get in here?" A deep, demanding voice growled in her ear. The hot breath moving along her cheek. Instincts taking over, Alex brought her ankle up and it connected with the mans balls. When the blade was away from her nack she jumped behind Itachi (on instinct). But during the struggle she lost her hoodie and was left standing behind Itachi in only a sports bra and a baggy, hippy pants.

This only registered to everyone when Hidan howled like a wolf.

"We got one fucking sexy bitch here!" He yelled grabbing Alex's hands and pinning them behind her back with one of his, pulling her out from behind Itachi. "Now be a smart bitch and keep your mouth shut." He said in a sickeningly ruff voice. His other hand held her throat, pressing her against his body.

Alex was too shocked to do anything in response. Although she did see who she kicked in the balls. It happened to be poor Pein. Ouch. His reputation is down the drain. So what did she start doing? She burst out laughing.

Everyone of the Akatsuki members looked at her not believing their eyes. Hidan even let go of her.

"What is wrong with her?" Konan asked helping Pein to stand while he clutched his injured jewels. Alex fell to the floor holding her sides while she continued to laugh like a loony anime idiot.

"I don't have a clue." Kisame said stepping out from behind the chair where he hid.

Alex was the only one who answered that question. Right after five more minutes of laughing until she ran out of breath and was lying face down on the floor. She pushed herself off the floor and sat indianstyle with some creepy smile. "Its because I'm loopy~." She said twirling a finger next to her head. "Um anyway." She looked down at her chest. The reaction took only a split second. " Where's my hoodie?!" She yelled darting for cover. And what cover was that? Right inside Itachi's cloak.

"..." No response. Everyone was standing there with jaws clattering to the floor. All but Pein and Itachi. Pein: Because he wanted to keep the rest of his dignity and Itachi because he didn't know what to do. Alex popped her head out of the cloak. She looked around at the Akatsuki members then at Itachi. A very, very deep blush made its way onto her face when she realized that she was hiding in his cloak with only a sports bra and hippy pants on.

Her massive bosom was pressed to his chest. 'Thank whatever god that he has a shirt on.' She said mentally, then she looked up at Itachi with her cherry face. "Uh...hi." Alex said with a very squeaky voice.

"Why does Itachi always get the girls?!" Kisame and Deidara wailed after a moment.

"Especially a fucking hot one like that!" Hidan added with rage. Alex took one second to register the sharp end of a kunai pressed to her back.

"Oh no you don't." So being as fast as she is, Alex removed each and evevry single weapon that Itachi had on him, throwing them to the floor in a mere two seconds."Phew." She breathed in relief while still hiding inside Itachi's cloak. "See. No more weapons to try and kill me with." She pointed to the pile on the floor.

Itachi bent low to whisper in her ear. "And how do you know that's all the weapons I have?" Alex turned a new shade of red and ducked underneath the safety of the cloak. She wasn't embarassed about being in the cloak, no, she was red because he actually talked, and to her no less!

No one made a sound.

3...2...1...

"What the fuck?!"(Hidan)

"What is wrong with her?!"(Konan)

"Does she want to die?!"(Kisame)

"That's Itachi Uchiha for gods sake!"(Deidara)

"Everyone shut your pieholes!" Alex shouted above everyone else. She was still hiding in the cloak. "I want my hoodie now!" She demanded sticking her hand out. Everyone turned to Pein who held the article of clothing.

"This?" Pein asked holding up the black hoodie, with an evil smirk (bad Pein!). Alex peeked through the front and her cerulean eyes widened.

"Don't you dare do what I think you are going to." She hissed like a snake. Pein's smirk grew wider and he ripped the hoodie to shreds. The reaction was instantanious. "MY HOODIE!" Alex leapt from the cover of the cloak to attack Pein. Damn she looked like a panther leaping on its prey. "YOU ASSHOLE! THAT WAS MY FUCKING HOODIE!" She yelled wrapping her hands around his neck and pushing him to the floor. She sat on him while choking the life out of him. "MY GRANDMOTHER BOUGHT ME THAT HOODIE!"She kneed him in the gut, punched him in the face, ripped out a piercing and punched him in the balls. "That is the true meaning of pain." She spat in his face while standing up. She knelt down to what was once her precious hoodie. Everyone else was too shocked to do anything. Alex picked up the hoodies remains and went to a room, leaving the Akatsuki to the terror that would soon come. She closed the door to the meeting room and sat in one of the chairs. "Negane. Why did it have to be the narutoverse?" She asked the creator. Obviously there was no answer, so she plonked her head on the table. "My second chance at life is ruined." She mumbled.

Meanwhile in the livingroom Pein was pissed as well as shocked. Pissed because she did that and shocked because she could do that.

"Leader. Calm down." Konan said in a soothing voice as Pein lifted himself off the floor while emitting an aura of death.

No one seemed to notice that Itachi and Sasori left the room to search for the missing girl. They were more concerned about staying alive.

The door to the meetingroom opened revealing the two Akatsuki members. Alex didn't move an inch.

"What do you want?" She mumbled into the table. Her waist length black hair covering her face. Neither Itachi nor Sasori answered the question, so she decided to see if they were still there. Alex lifted her head off the table and turned to the door. She had a questioning look spread all over her face. "What are the two of you doing here?" Her question was answered when both Itachi and Sasori stood infront of her with their backs facing her.

"Move." Pein demanded stomping into the meetingroom. Alex peeked between Itachi and Sasori. Bad idea, because at that moment Pein decided to use his Almight pull thingy. She went flying right into his hand. First reaction: stop breathing. Second reaction: speed up heartrate. Third reaction: beg to all the gods.

'Artemis, Athena, Hades, Posidon, Apollo, Zeus, Four, Jashin and all the gods. Please get me outta here!' She begged. Pein tightened his grip on her throat and slammed her into a wall. **'We will help. Just ask the right god. The one that has strategy in battle.'** Was the gods answer. 'Okay ummm. Athena! Help me!' Pein pulled out a kunai and was about to plunge it into her gut when she kicked him in the chest. He flew into the opposite wall. "Thanks Athena!" Then she darted into the meetingroom and dove behind Itachi and Sasori. "Whatever you do. Don't let him obliterate my second chance at life." She whisered into their ears then ducked when a kunai whizzed past her head.

Pein burst into the room ready to derstroy Alex. She searched in her head for a possible strategy when a word popped up.

'Boobs!' So she jumped onto the table and ripped off her own bra. That was when the other Akatsuki members showed up. And here was the reactions:

Deidara: massive fountain of blood spurting out of nose.

Hidan: tidlewave of blood bursting out of nose.

Itachi: barely visible trail of blood dripping from nose.

Kakuzu: bulging eyes and small trail of blood dripping from nose.

Kisame: don't have a name for the amount of blood and heart attack.

Konan: eyes bugging out of skull.

Pein: huge amount of blood from nose and bulging eyes.

Sasori: also barely visible trail of blood dripping from nose.

Tobi: don't know because of mask.

Zetsu: drooling.

So those who had the huge nosebleeds went flying and the ones who didn't have that much of nosebleed covered their faces. Konan just stood there, gawping.

Alex looked at the mess then at Itachi and Sasori who stood there holding their noses. "Oopsie." She tried covering her chest, but it was too big so she jumped down from the table and hid behind a chair. "Can I borrow a cloak please?" She asked looking at Itachi and Sasori. Konan was the one to respond by hurling her cloak at Alex's head. "Thank you!" She yelled pulling the cloak on. There was one tiny problem. Konan doesn't have big boods and she is small. So you can guess what the problem was. One: the cloak didn't close at her boobs and two: there was still guys in the room. "Fuck! Why did I have to get big boobs!?" She yelled pulling the top over her massive hooters to try and cover them. "I'm only seventeen for heavens sake!" She ducked behind the chair again and tried to close the cloak.

So while Alex was trying to cover the monstrous boobs, the Akatsuki regained themselves.

"Do you think she's juicy?** Delectable meats?**" Zetsu asked himself while materializing behind Alex. She took one look at him and jumped onto Sasori.

"Keep that cannibal away from me!" She yelled. Unbeknownst to her, the cloak opened again and Sasori's face was being smothered. She only clung to him for dear life.

"C-c-cant b-b-breathe!" Sasori mumbled into her boobs. Alex looked down at him and turned a shade of forget-me-not red.

"S-s-sorry!" She clambered off of him and then tried once again to cover her boobs. "I wish I had something to cover these monsters." She mumbled pulling on the cloak. A hoodie fell on her head. Not just any hoodie, her hoodie. "My precious hoodie!" She ripped the cloak off and pulled on her hoodie. Then she proceeded to hug herself. "Oh my precious I've missed you so much!" She jumped with joy, not only because of her hoodie but also because of the fact that her boobs were finally covered.

"That girl is fucked up." Kisame said after his heart attack. He stood up from the floor and moved to stand next to Itachi. "What do you think." He asked jabbing his partner in the ribs and wiggling his eyebrows.

Itachi looked at Kisame with a blank face (his nosebleed stopped right when it started, but there was stil a little blood in his nose). "I don't know what you mean." He stated turning his head away to look at the loopy girl. The corner of his mouth twitched and threatened to turn into a smile, but he pushed it away.

Kisame gave a toothy grin and put his arm around Itachi's shoulder. "I think you should take her before anyone else tries to make a move." He winked at Itachi. But Itachi, being an Uchiha, only looked at Kisame with a blank face.

"What are you two talking about?" Kisame nearly jumped out of his skin when Deidara and Sasori stood behind them. Deidara had a evil grin plastered all over his face while Sasori looked interested in the conversation.

"Oh nothing." Kisame said scratching the back of his head with a grin.

"Helloooooo! Did everyone forget about the loopy girl named Alex in the hideout!?" Alex asked waving her hands about to get everyones attention. "Thank you. Now since no one knows who I am I'll explain." She breathed a deep breath and let it out. "Okay firstly my name is Alexandra Espion. Second I have been given a second chance at life because I was not meant to die yet after I sorta put a knife in my own heart. Third I know who each and every single one of you are, where you come from and your personal things. Fourth I'm not a ninja, just a loopy anime girl.". She took another breath and continued. "I'm seventeen years old. I have been to a mental hospital on countles occasions. And have read every single book there is." She fell to the floor on her back completely exhausted. "So no need to interrogate me for anything because I just gave you everything I know." She sat up and rubbed her aching head.

Pein just stood there conversing with Konan. "What do you think we should do with her?" Konan asked looking at Alex.

"Apparently she knows too much about us. We should call for a vote to see what to do with her." Pein responded looking at Alex aswell with a thoughtfull look. He turned to look at the rest of his members then back to Alex. "So Alexandra-"

"Just call me Alex." Alex said with a toothy smile.

A vein appeared in Pein's head. "Alright, Alex, what are you willing to give this organization?" Alex looked thoughtfull then gripped her head in agony.

"Ow my brain." She mumbled. Then she looked at all the faces around her till her eyes landed on Itachi and Sasori who were glaring at each other. She tilted her head to the side then turned back to Pein. "Don't ask me. I have no clue what-so-ever what I am capable of." She said rubbing the back of her neck with a silly smile. Pein facepalmed and sighed.

"Are you mentally unstable or something?" Konan asked with a curious face. Alex pondered that for a moment then nodded with enthusiasm.

"Yup. I was in a mental institution for five years because of something I did but can't remember it." She said with a big grin.

(Sweatdrop)

"I have no idea what to do with her." Pein whispered to Konan who nodded. Alex waved her hand in the air. "What?"

"Where do I sleep? Since I know you guys won't kill me and I could be usefull in a few ways." She said jumping up and bouncing on the spot.

"We didn't even vote on anything yet." Konan stated looking at Alex like she was something that seemed out of place, well she is.

"Then vote now! I'll be waiting outside." Alex said bouncing out of the room to stand in the hallway.

"She has serious problems, un." Deidara stated plopping into his chair. Everyone else sat in their chairs. Itachi and Sasori still glared at each other. The reason should be clear, if not, then wait.

"So any ideas on if she should stay or not?" Konan asked looking around the group of criminals. Her eyes landed on Itachi and Sasori with their glare-off. 'What the...' She thought but shrugged it off."Everyone who votes that she stays put your left hand up, and those who says she must go raise your right hand." She added.

Itachi, Sasori, Kisame, Hidan, Zetsu, Deidara and Tobi raised their left hands while Kakuzu, Pein and Konan raised their right hands.

Pein's head dropped onto the table. "No." He groaned.

"Sorry leader but it seems like she can stay." Konan sighed.

"I'm not paying for anything." Kakuzu said standing from his chair and making his way to the door. Before he could get there it was slammed open and Alex rushed in glomping Konan and rolling to the floor.

"I knew it! Thank you!" She said hugging the life out of the blue haired woman. She shot up and had a sort of glow emmiting off her. "So where am I sleeping?" She begged with an irresistable puppy face. Itachi and Sasori stood up at the same time. They glared at each other.

"What is it with you two?" Pein asked with a brow raised. He looked at Alex then back at them. He put two and two together then faclepalmed. "Oh no." He grumbled pinching the bridge of his nose. And speaking of grumbling. Alex's stomach made a loud grumbling noise.

"Pardon me. But I gotta go eat something." She said exiting the meetingroom with a red face. "I'll be back in five minutes!" She yelled darting for the kitchen. The fridge flew open and she grabbed the following: Tuna bread, milk, cheese, chips, dango's and dumplings. "Oh food." She placed everything on the table and devoured it like a hungry beast.

Not a single breadcrumb was spared in the assault. Or a drop of milk.

"Now I'm full." Alex sighed in relief at her filled stomach. "And now its time to find out where I'll be sleeping." She hummed making her way back to the meetingroom. When she entered there was a thick atmosphere. The cause was unknown. "Hey I'm back." She smiled at everyone but found they were all staring at two individuals. "What happened while I was gone?" She asked with a very confused face, even went as far as tilting her head a air in the room gave off a vibe that Alex couldn't even describe. So she decided to make her presence known once again. (This is why she was in a mental hospital for five years). "If you assholes don't tell me what the fuck is going on there will be seven sorts of hell unleashed on your skinny asses." She hissed in a demonlike voice which made everything in the room freeze.

'When did a demon come here?' Was running through everyones minds when they turned to the door. But what they saw was no demon, it was Alex. Her hair whipped around her body and biceps made themselves known even through her big hoodie. Her eyes promised severe pain to anyone.

"Now that I have your attention. This is the reason why I was in a mental hospital for five years." She said in a deep voice. Everyone shrunk back in their seats when she stepped forward. The floor cracked beneath her feet as she advanced towards the table. When she just put her hand on the table it crumbled to the floor. "I was at school and tried to get the class's attention, but what did they do? They kept on talking. Those stupid assholes didn't even try to listen when I talked. And then a demon decided it had had enough of this bullshit. The school was left in ruins while I was being dragged off to a mental hospital in a straight jacket. But they were a little late because when I finished demolishing the school the demon had had its fill and left my body. So I didn't remember any of it. And speak a word of this to anoter living soul and I can promise you that your eyes will never see the light of day again." Alex said in her deep voice. Everyone nodded and her eyes went back to normal, her hair fell down and her biceps disappeared. She looked at the mess and looked completely confuckulated. "What the hell happened in here?" She looked at everyone who was hiding in their chairs.

Kisame didn't take the chance for the demon to come back so he spoke up. "I sorta smashed Samehada into the table while you were gone." He lied scratching the back of his neck. (Great acting fishy!) Alex smiled at him then turned to Pein.

"So anywhere specific that I need to sleep?" She asked with glowing cerulean eyes. Pein was a little scared, but he kept a stern gaze and leader figure.

"Who is willing to share a room with Alex?" Konan asked after a short pause. Alex turned around quickly to see who stood up.

"Me and Itachi will share a room with her." Kisame said a little unsure, but kept himself in one place so he doesn't duck behind Itachi for protection. Alex looked at him for a second then turned to Itachi. She smiled at him. Not a loony smile. Just a plain smile. One that friends gave friends.

"That's alright with me." She said walking with some happiness towards the two members. "So where's your room?" She asked popping up behind Kisame who nearly had a heart attack. Itachi kept his cool and stood up.

"Follow me." He said in his very deep, Uchiha voice.

'Why are there butterflies in my stomach? And why is my heart pounding in my ears?' Alex asked herself as she followed Itachi out of the meetingroom. Her insides were doing some hard core gymnastics. "You coming Kisame?" She asked the blue fish when they made it to the door. Kisame took one look at the table and shook his head slowly.

"I'll be there later." He stated when Alex pouted. She smiled brightly the left the room with a skip. 'I would rather spend eternity with Tobi than her. I hope Itachi will survive.' He chuckled. "Anybody wanna trade rooms?" He asked turning to one individual. Sasori glared then smirked.

"I will." He stated standing from his chair. "Enjoy your time with Deidara." Then he left the room to go get his things and move to Itachi's room. 'That power she posesses. Its incredible.' He thought.

"It was nice knowing those two." Kakuzu said. "I'm not paying for the funerals though." Then he left to go to his own room.

"They won't fucking survive the night with that demon." Hidan said running after Kakuzu.

"I would be surprised if we all made it to see another day." Pein said standing from his own chair. "Everyone get some sleep. We will discuss what we will do with Alex in the morning." The he left the room.

The remaining members looked at each other. "See ya tomorrow." Konan said exiting the room.

"If we survive." Kisame said leaving with everyone else. Meanwhile there was one member who didn't say a thing since Alex showed up.

'Alexandra Espion. What will I do with you?' Madara thought walking silently to his and Zetsu's room.

"So which bed is mine?" Alex asked with a cute, irresistable face. Itachi and Sasori were standing by the door while Alex stood in the middle of the room. Itachi and Sasori were glaring at each other. If glares could kill, they would be dead long ago. 'What is wrong with my insides?!' She yelled at her mind. On the outside she was calm while on the inside she was having a little trouble controlling her raging organs.

"Take my bed." Sasori said after a few seconds.

"I don't mind sleeping on the floor." Itachi said right after that.

Alex looked between the two, but couldn't figure out what they were going crazy about. She sighed and turned to the two beds. She put an idea together. "Give me a second." She said going to Itachi's bed and pushing it halfway across the room, then she did the same with Sasori's bed. "There." She dusted her hands off and turned to the two with a victorious smile. "Problem solved." She held up two fingers showing the 'V' for victory sign. "Now I'm going to bath..." She stopped her sentence and looked down at herself, then turned a deep shade of red. "Can I borrow some clothes?" She asked scratching her head and looking at Itachi and Sasori.

The reaction was instantanious. Itachi held out a pair of black pants and a white T-shirt. Sasori held out a pair of brown pants and a red T-shirt.

Alex took the white shirt and the brown pants. "Thanks guys. I'll be out in thirty minutes." She then darted for the bathroom. Taking her hand of the door handle, Alex slid down to the floor and let out a long sigh. "I can't figure anything out. Maube a nice hot shower can help my brain to think better." She then undressed and stepped into the shower. The burning hot water sizzling against her skin. "Oh my aching brain. Sweet relief." She breathed in and out with relief from the massive headache.

While Alex was having her shower, Itachi and Sasori were glaring daggers at each other. "What do you want with her, Uchiha?" Sasori hissed standing on his side of the bed.

"I was goint to ask you the same thing, Sasori." Itachi growled from his side. They heard the shower running and turned to face the bathroom. (Hah! Neither won the glaring contest! You both suck!) Then they heard singing. The voice was hypnotizing.

"There's a place that I've found. As far as I can see. This place lies within. The depths of my dreams." There was a pause then it went on. "In a garden surrounded by fire and dreams. Through the smoke a sillouette, I can barely see. There's a man with an axe, standing in the- ow motherfucker!" Alex shouted from the shower.

In the shower Alex was holding her bleeding leg. "Fucking glass!" She hissed while searching for a bandage. Good thing she had a towel on, because the door flew open and both Itachi and Sasori was standing in the doorway. "Oh hey guys. What's up?" She asked trying to hide the blood, but to no avail because it was a deep cut. They saw the blood and rushed to her side.

"What happened?" They asked at the same time.

"Oh the shower decided to attack me." Alex said with a sheepish grin while holding tightly onto the towel with one hand. 'What is up with these guys?'

"Sit." Sasori demanded pushing her onto the toiled while Itachi lifted her leg to inspect the wound.

"Its deep." Itachi stated holding a hand over the cut and putting pressure on it.

"Youza motherfucker that hurts like a bitch!" Was Alex's reaction. Sasori whipped up a bandage and gauze out of nowhere then he proceeded to cover up the wound after Itachi cleaned it.

"Sit still." Itachi said holding her leg tightly while she squirmed.

"But it hurts!" Alex whined. Sasori finished and let her leg go, so did Itachi.

"Done." Sasori sighed and whiped his forehead. Alex blushed.

"Can I get dressed now?" She asked looking down to hide her face. Itachi and Sasori turned to glare at each other.

"Get dressed but don't touch the bandages." Sasori said walking out of the bathroom behind Itachi. Alex sighed in relief.

"I will get you back for that you wicked shower." She glared at said shower. Then she proceeded to get dressed into the brown pants and white shirt she got from Itachi and Sasori. "I really don't get what they're so crazy about." She said while drying her black hair with the towel. "Might as well get some sleep." She said with a big yawn. Then she opened the door and stepped out rubbing her eyes. When she opened them all she saw was black. When she looked again she was on the floor. "Eh? Howd I get here?" She asked pushing herself into a sitting position. She looked up and saw Sasori on her left and Itachi on her right. 'What is wrong with them? Seriously. This is not the Akatsuki.' She argued in her head while they helped her to stand. "Thanks. Woooo dizzy land." She said holding her head to stop the spinning.

Itachi and Sasori helped Alex walk to the beds and let her sit in the middle.

"Thanks guys." She said looking up at them with a smile, while her insides went hysterical. 'Aw come on! What is wrong with me now!?' She yelled at her head while moving back to get under the blankets. "Night." She yawned and layed her head down. 'When I figure out what's going on, I'll be going to the library to decipher it all.' She stated closing her eyes.

Itachi looked at Sasori. Sasori looked at Itachi. "Compromise." They said at the same time shaking hands. Then they climbed on their sides of the beds and went to sleep.

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A/N: Sooooo? How was it? Good? Bad? Inbetween? Tell me in a review along with your answer to this question.

Who should Alex end up with?

Itachi

Sasori

Pein

Madara

Tell me in a review! And stay tuned for the next chapter! : p


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Beware of a randomly laughing lunatic!

A/N: Okay guys. If you didn't review on the first chapter no biggie. I will be posting eitherway. And your all wondering what's wrong with Alex right? Well here's a short explanation. She is loopy, meaning her emotions are a blender. Depending on her situation or the question asked, depends on the emotion your going to get. Now enjoy! And she has four guys stalking her. But shhhh.

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Alex's POV~

'So warm. Nicey warm... Wait a minute...' I opened my eyes and turned my head to the left. Itachi was too close. Then I turned to the right, same with Sasori. 'What the...' I bolted out of the bed and stood by the door searching for air. "No. No. No. No. No. Not that. Anything but that." I groaned looking at how close they were lying to me. I was practically sandwitched between e'm! My face turned a very bad shade of red. Forget-me-not-red. Great. I just figured out why they went crazy yesterday. "Both of them." I groaned stepping into the hallway. Good thing no one is an early riser. "Kitchen." I said bolting for said place. My eyes landed on the clock. 2:30! Great. Now I won't be able to go to sleep again.

I sat at the table and plonked my head on it letting out a long groan. "Why me? What did I do?" I groaned to the gods. I heard a chuckle coming from the door. My head shot up and my eyes narrowed. "Madara." I hissed at the orange mask.

"So you know who I am." He asked in that deep voice.

"Yeah. And I don't like you." I spat standing up from the table. "Now get out of my face. I know your plans and I don't like them either." I said plucking a knife from the counter.

He let out a deep laugh. "What is a little knife going to do to me?" He asked disappearing and reappearing behind me. He grabbed my throat and pinned my hands behind my back.

"Oh its not the knife you need to worry about." I said in a maniacal voice of my own.

"What?" He asked letting me go and shoving me to the floor.

I pointed a finger at myself then my head. "Take a look for yourself. If you've got enough balls." I said with a very loopy chuckle. His visible eye swirled red, and I stared into it with much enthusiasm. 'Try and get past that. Fucker.' I thought as he took a step back into the counter. "Find anything?" I asked mockingly while lifting myself from the floor.

"What are you?" He asked narrowing his eye at me. I laughed at him.

"Just a normal human being, with a lot of craziness in my head." I stated cracking my knuckles. "And gues what. I don't even know what is in my own head." I said with a toothy grin. "Goodbye. Madara." I said walking out of the kitchen back to Itachi's, Sasori's and my room. "Asshole." I muttered opening the door and sneaking inside. Itachi and Sasori were still fast asleep. 'Okay brain. Lock up what happened now.' I ordered my brain. And just like that I was back to my goofy self.

Third POV~

Alex turned a deep shade of red when she remembered in what positon she woke up while looking at Itachi and Sasori. "No." She groaned making her way back to the bed. 'Suck it up. You can do this.' She encouraged herself while crawling back under the blanket inbetween the two Akatsuki members. She tried going back to sleep, but couldn't. Why? Because her insides were going haywire. Why? Because Itachi sorta put an arm around her, and so did Sasori. "Happy place. Go to my happy place." She mumbled staring at the ceiling. Her eyes became unfocussed and she went into a daydream.

Meanwhile Madara was having a talk with Pein.

"Alex is not human." Madara stated. Pein put a hand on his chin and sat in thought.

"And how do you know this?" Pein asked after a few seconds.

"When I went to the kitchen, I found her by the table. She knew who I was just by listening to my laugh. Also when she tried using a knife I told her it wouldn't help against me, she said that wasn't the thing I should be worried about." Madara sighed and went back to explaining before Pein could interrupt. "When I asked her what she was talking about, she pointed to herself then her head. I looked into her mind, but it came up blank." Pein held up a hand.

"You say her mind was blank?" He asked. Madara nodded. "That means she had nothing in there correct?" Madara nodded again. Pein sat back in his chair and thought about something. "We should keep her alive and watch her every move."

"Why?" Madara asked.

"I may be wrong, but when she is in a room there is a sort of mysterious aura coming from her. I would like to know what it is." Pein stated.

"Now that you mention it. Yesterday in the meetingroom. When she tried getting everyones attention." Pein shuddered and so did Madara. "I would also like to know what that was." Pein shook his head.

"I think we should leave that alone." He said when Madara tried to question him. "I would stil like to be alive." Madara nodded at his statement.

"She is like a blender." Madara said.

"Why do you say that?" Pein asked lifting and eyebrow.

"Because no one could predict what she was going to do yesterday. It was like she..." Madara trailed off.

"It was like she didn't have a mind to think about anything." Pein finished. Madara nodded. "So we should keep her under check."

"For our lives." Madara said exiting Pein's office. Pein sighed and rubbed his face.

'Why do I get this feeling that there is something wrong with me, Madara, Sasori and Itachi?" Pein asked himself. An image of Alex popped in his head. 'No.' He shook his head and sighed. 'What is this world coming to?'

Alex was as red as a cherry. Why? Because Itachi and Sasori were still sleep, and she needed to use the bathroom. Her happy place was busy being renovated so she was kicked out. "Why me?" She mumbled looking at the ceiling. "What's the time?" She moaned looking at the clock. 9:00. She sighed in relief when an alarm went off. 'Ooh this should be good.' She grinned. 3...2...1... "Hey everybody! Its time to wake up!" She hollored throughout the base, while laying in the bed.

Itachi and Sasori fell out of the bed. There were a few loud thumps heard further down the hall.

"Oh thank the heavens! Now I can use the toilet!" Alex said darting for the bathroom. Itachi and Sasori shot up from the floor in attack positions.

"What? Where is Alex?" Sasori asked scanning the room. They unfortunately didn't notice that said person was creeping up behind them.

'This is fun.' She mused. "And why are you two looking for me?" She asked popping her head between them. Itachi spun around, sharingan activated, and Sasori almost killed Alex. Fortunately for her, she jumped back a few feet, and unfortunately for her, she jumped right into Pein's arms. "EEEEP!" She squeaked trying to squirm out of his grasp.

"Someone knock her out! I've already got a headache!" Kisame yelled from somewhere down the hall. Alex tipped her head back and let out a maniacal laugh. Good thing was that she stopped squirming. Bad thing is that no one has a clue what she is going to do.

"Meeting now!" Pein yelled throughout the base then he poofed away with Alex stil laughing like a lunatic. Itachi and Sasori were not far behind.

In just a matter of seconds every Akatsuki member was in the meetingroom staring at Alex. She was chained to a chair, and yes she was stil laughing like a lunatic.

"Why is Alex-chan laughing while chained to a chair?" Tobi asked finally opening his mouh (yeah right Madara. Go fuck yourself!). "She is scaring Tobi." Said man said cowering behind Deidara, who cowered behind Kisame, who cowered behind Hidan, who cowered behind Kakuzu, who cowered behind Konan, who cowered behind a chair as far away from Alex as possible. The only ones not hiding were Itachi, Sasori, Pein and Zetsu.

"We smell blood. **Its smells sweet.**" Zetsu said inching closer to Alex. Everyone looked at her leg and saw the blood seeping from the bandage. Alex ceased her laughing for a moment to retort.

"I thought you were a cannibal not a vampire." Then she continued laughing like a loon. This time her vocals doubled and it sent the base shaking. Zetsu back away then scampered to hide behind Tobi. Sasori, Itachi and Pein froze when they saw that her leg was bleeding.

"Hold her." Saori said taking out a bandage and gauze once more. Pein and Itachi were standing on either side of the chair holding her stil. But she continued to laugh.

"Try again!" Alex bellowed disappearing from the chair. Everyone looked around frantically for the missing loony. "Miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me!" She said appearing infront of Pein, she pecked him on the lips then rounded on Sasori and did the same. When she turned to Itachi all instincts went out the door. Why? Because when she turned to him their lips met. She jumped back after ten seconds and screamed bloody murder. "Itachi Uchiha kissed me!" Then she was gone just like that. Sasori, Pein, Itachi and the rest of the Akatsuki were at a loss for words. When Sasori wanted to place the bandages and gauze back in his pocket he noticed it was missing.

"What the..." He turned to Itachi. He seemed to know what was going on. "Leader. We have a serious situation." He stated.

Pein looked at Sasori, then Itachi, then at Tobi(Marara). He sighed but then something tugged at his chest.

Madara had the same feeling, along with Itachi and Sasori. They looked at each other and nodded. The other members didn't even know what to do so they stayed put when the four left the room. They left in search of the loony that had some type of hold on them.

Alex was running through the woods laughing very loudly, and screaming bloody murder every few seconds. "Itachi Uchiha kissed me!" Was what she screamed. This seemed to get a particular persons attention. When Alex wanted to run around a tree, someone grabbed her from behind and dragged her away. And she didn't even notice it! She was still laughing like a loon.

"Where is Itachi?" A deep voice asked when the man finished tying the loopy girl to a tree. She just continued laughing. Sasuke grew irritated and held a kunai to her throat. "Tell me where he is." Sasuke hissed. Alex stopped laughing long enough to breathe and opened her cerulean eyes to stare blankly at Sasuke.

"Finally! I thought she'd never stop!" Juugo said removing his hands from his ears.

"Hi Sasuke. Nice to meet you." Alex said with a toothy grin when Sasuke moved away from her. "My name is Alex. And no I do not know where Itachi is right now." She said before he could interrupt her. She looked around at team Hebi then yawned. "What's the time?" She asked turning to Juugo. He looked at her for a split second then dragged Sasuke away by the collar.

He stopped a few feet from the camp and let Sasuke go. He was either in a state of shock or something because he didn't answer. "You do know that that girl is loopy right?" Juugo asked slapping Sasuke across the face to get his attention. Sasuke glared at him.

"No. And how did you figure that out?" He asked in bewilderment. Juugo looked back at the girl. She was looking at them with a very curious face.

"Take a look for yourself." Juugo said pointing to Alex. Sasuke crossed his arms and turned to look at her anyway. He looked at her eyes and found nothing. Absolutely nothing. "What do you see?" Juugo asked getting Sasuke's attention again.

"Nothing." He stated.

"Exactly." Juugo said holding up a finger to stop Sasuke from talking. "She is a loopy girl that lives with the Akatsuki."

"So if we keep her. They'll come to us to retrieve her?" Sasuke asked. Juugo nodded. Sasuke turned and walked back to Alex who's eyes lit up.

"I already know what your planning, Sasuke." She mused. When Sasuke was about to question her she vanished. "And let me tell you now. It aint gonna work." She said from behind him.

"What the! How did you get there?!" Karin shouted backing away and pulling out her kunai. Sasuke whipped around ready to fight but found she was gone again.

"It was nice meeting all of you! Now I gotta run! Bye!" She waved from a high tree then bounded off. Team Hebi were lost for words. Alex jumped from tree to tree like a ninja but with no chackra. "Doing, doing, doing." She sang while jumping to each branch. "Hmmm. Where to?" She asked herself. "Ooh I know! Konoha here I come!" She yelled darting for said village.

Kotetsu kept a lookout while Izumo went to Tsunade for something. It was nice and peacefull. Until...

"Hellooooooooooooo Konoha!" Came Alex's voice from the gate. Kotetsu fell out of his seat when Alex jumped infront of him. "And hello to you to Kotetsu." She said with a wicked smile when he jumped up from the ground, kunai in hand and ready to fight.

"Who the hell are you?!" Kotatsu demanded. Several other shinobi came and surrounded Alex. She pouted.

"Seriously? You know I can't do anything." She said crossing her arms and turning her head away from them.

"If you can shout louder than Naruto, then you can obviously do something." Tsunade said appearing next to Kotetsu with Izumo. Alex snapped her head to Tsunade and let out a low growl.

"You know that people shouldn't judge a book by its cover." Alex said in a warning tone stepping forward. "Here's some advice. Never judge me by what I look like." Then she was gone.

"Whered she go?!" Izumo squeaked getting into a defensive stance.

"Right behind you." Alex growled in his ear. Izumo spun around but she was not there. "Look to your left!" She shouted from a building. And indeed this time she was still there when they all turned to look at her. And then she started her loony laugh again. "Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the loony tunes man!" She yelled from the gate.

"When did she get there?!" Kotetsu and Izumo shouted at the same time.

"Who are you?" Tsunade asked from her fighting stance. Alex laughed her loony laugh.

"Alexandra Espion. It was nice meeting you guys, but now I've gotta run! Seeya!" She said running off with her loony laugh intact.

Meanwhile Itachi, Sasori, Pein and Madara were running through the forest searching for Alex.

"Where do you think she'll be?" Madara asked. Before he got an answer there was a loud laugh coming from their left. An not just any laugh. Alex's loony laugh. They turned and went in that direction.

They found her diving into a ravine.

Alex resurfaced and laughed. "Soooo nice!" She hummed swimming in a circle. She froze and sniffed the air. Then let out a vicious growl. "Madara." She snarled turning to face them.

Said person looked at her eyes but found that they were blank.

"What do you want?" She spat at him while stepping out of the ravine. "If it has anything to do with me helping you to take over the world, then you can shove a stick up your ass and die." Alex hissed folding her arms over her monstrous bosom.

Madara was taken aback by her sentence. "How did you-?"

"Its because I fucking know who you are. Asshole." Alex spat then turned around. Her mood changed and she jumped with joy at seeing Itachi, Sasori and Pein. "Hey guys!" She yelled glomping each one when they least expected it.

Pein held her at arms length when she tried to glomp him. Her face turned into a pout and she gave him puppy eyes.

"Your soaking wet." He stated when she tried begging. Alex's face turned into mischevious.

"Aww~. Can't a girl take a dip in the ravine after she wakes up between two Akastuki guys who like her, then gets held by a third that obviously likes her?" She asked with a grin when Pein blushed. She jumped back and did a twist in mid air. Making her land infront of Itachi. "And please inform me why you three are out here looking for poor old me?" She asked with a cute face.

The three in question looked at each other, then Itachi leaned forwards. Alex wasn't expecting that he would kiss her. She was more or less hoping that he would tell her. So when he kissed her she was like putty in his hands.

Sasori and Pein growled (yes Madara was forgotten) when the kiss lasted longer then ten seconds.

'My head is spinning!' Alex screamed at herself while looking into Itachi's eyes. 'My insides are at war now!' Her legs were like jelly and she held onto Itachi's cloak to keep herself standing. When Itachi pulled away from the kiss, Alex was swirling. Her face was that of a sensation you get from eating your favourite sweet. "Me dizzy." She giggled.

Sasori and Pein looked murderous. Alex could somehow tell that, because she latched herself onto Itachi and hissed like a cat.

"Mine. And its gona stay that way." She said with a posessive tone while turning her head to look at Sasori and Pein. "Back off. He kissed me first." She wrapped her arms around his neck while her legs we're wrapped tightly around his waist. How they're not on the floor, only heaven knows.

Sasori lunged forward and Pein followed. They didn't get close because Alex let out a stream of very colourful words.

"He's mine you assholes. So get your skinny asses away from me before I gut you like fish and feed you to Zetsu. Then I'll send the fucking grim reaper to torture your barbaric souls." She threatened kicking each in the face. Pein and Sasori went flying. "You lost so fucking deal with it like men." She snarled latching herself onto Itachi again.

There was a moments silence, then Madara laughed and grabbed Alex by the waist, making her let go of Itachi. "You forgot about me." He said in her ear. She snarled and disappeared.

"No I didn't asshole." She said from behind kicking him in the back. Then her mood changed again and she was jumping like a bunny. "Bunny, bunny, hop, hop, hop." She giggled and went in the direction of the base. Itachi followed closely keeping an eye out for Pein, Sasori and Madara.

When the door to the base was thrown open, all of the members dived for cover.

"I'm back! And I've got a bf!" Alex hollored through the building. She jumped into the livingroom and had a devious grin on her face. "Rise and shine bitches! The loopy girl has a boyfriend! And his name is Itachi Uchiha!" The reactions went something like this:

"WHAT?!"

All of the members, excluding Itachi, Pein, Sasori and Madara, jumped from their hiding places with complete shock. Kisame went to Itachi and gave him a pat on the back.

"I knew you could do it. Although it was nice knowing you." Kisame said turning to Alex who had a cunfuckulated expression on her face.

"What are you talking about?" Alex asked jumping to Itachi's side, while pushing Kisame away in the process. "I would never hurt him. Because he is my fist boyfriend." She said sticking her tounge out at Kisame.

His jaw clattered to the ground, along with everyone elses. "Are you joking?!" He asked. And by the sad look on her face he could tell she wasn't.

"You've never had a boyfriend?" Itachi asked making her look at him. Kisame was the one to respond.

"I think its because they knew the risks they'd be taking if she had one." He said backing away slowly. When he saw that she wasn't looking at him he relaxed. Alex was looking into Itachi's eyes. It was like a long veil of silence was given to them. It was very awkward silence so Kisame shooed everyone out of the room. "Its best not to interrupt them right now." He said when Konan was about to go off on him.

"Oh." She responded, but peeked around the corner. Kisame followed her action, same with Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu and Zetsu.

"There is a reason why I've never had a boyfriend." Alex said turning her head to look away from Itachi. A tear rolled down her cheek. Itachi leaned down and wiped it away, cupping her cheek with his hand and turning her head to face him.

"Tell me." Itachi said in a soft voice. It took him one look at her eyes to know that other people shouldn't know what it is. "Come with me." He picked her up with one arm and walked to his room. When he entered his room he locked the door and set Alex down on the bed.

She was shaking, out of fear and rage mixed together. "When I was five my father came home one night, drunk." Itachi sat down on the bed and held her while she spoke in an unknown voice. "He beat my mother and my brother. I was hiding in my room, but I knew he would soon find me. And he did." She stopped talking and breathing all at once when the memory came back to her. Itachi looked at her face and he saw four emotions raging war. Hate, sadness, pride, rage.

"What did he do?" Itachi asked when her breathing came back. Alex screamed, not a normal scream, one with all those emotions in one high, vocal breaking, terror filled scream. All the glass in the base shattered, the remaining Akatsuki covered their ears to block out the deafenning screech. Itachi only winced but kept himself at her side.

"He... He... He..." Alex couldn't get the words out and instead grabbed her hair and started pulling. Itachi grabbed her hands and held them together. He looked into her eyes and saw utter horror.

"Don't say anymore." Itachi said pulling her into a strong hug. Alex burst into tears and started sobbing into his chest. Itachi listened to her cries and just held her.

"I-I-I couldn't do anything." She sobbed. "But the cops came and took him away when my mother phoned them. The medics came and took me to the hospital for tests." She took a moment to breathe before she continued. "After what happened I was in a mental state that could have lead me to an early death. If the doctors didn't suggest anime, I would be long gone." Itachi waited until she finished with a very long sigh, then he held her at arms length.

"What is anime?" He asked. Alex's sad mood was shot dead and thrown out the window. Her sad face changed to that of excitement. The leftover tears on her face vapourised into nothing.

"Its a cartoonish thing with fictional characters that are meant for entertainment." Alex bounced up and down but stopped and had a thoughtful moment. "But now that I think about it. Since I'm in another dimension, and that dimension happens to be the one from the anime called Naruto. Maybe the writer of the anime knew that too." She turned to Itachi and jumped him. They both fell back on the bed. Alex laughed and sat up on Itachi. She looked down at him and smiled, then it turned into a face lost for words, then she turned a deep shade of red. "I... Uh... Shit! This is too embarassing!" She groaned covering up her face and scrambling off him. Or well she tried to. Why? Because Itachi pulled her hands away from her face and pulled her down to him.

"I think it suits you." He whispered in her ear then pulled back to see her reaction. Alex's face was as red as a volcano. Itachi smiled and her face turned to pure shock and embarrassment.

"Uh... Thanks..." Was all she could come up with then turned her head away, letting her dry, black hair fall next to her. (When she got dry is when Itachi walked her back to the base while she bounced like a bunny). Itachi reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. He found that her hair was very soft.

So he kept it in his hand while she looked at him, her face stil showing off very huge amounts of red. This time it was she who kissed him. Which surprised them both. Alex layed down closer and Itachi wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her even closer, deepening the kiss. They closed their eyes.

Itachi licked the bottom of her lips and she willingly opened for him. His leathe muscle explored each millimeter of her mouth. And each time it touched her pink apendage she got shivers up her spine. Her hands found their way into his hair and her fingers got tangled up pretty quickly.

Itachi pushed them up with one arm and took the moment one step further. How? By moving his hand under her shirt. Alex gasped and arched her back because of his cold touch.

The door was thrown off its hinges and Pein, Sasori and Madara stomped in filled with rage. Alex and Itachi just continued to kiss their hearts away, not once parting to look at the three raging idiots that barged in.

Pein looked at their position, Alex stradling Itachi's lap, Sasori looked at Itachi's wandering hand, in Alex's shirt, and Madara listened to their breathing. They stood shocked in the doorway, that is until Alex growled. She pushed Itachi back and snarled. "Come with me." She whispered in his ear then disappeared. However when she reappeared she had the entire Akatsuki with her. Well the other six members that is. She threw them on the floor and kicked Pein, Sasori and Madara in the backs to join them.

"Oi bitch! What the fuck is your problem?!" Hidan yelled clasping his neck where Alex had held him.

When Alex spoke, she had a different voice again, the demons voice. "Keep you masochistic mouth shut, lest you want to lose your tongue and some very precious bits between your legs." Hidan clamped a hand over his mouth and the other over his balls. "Good. Now listen to my words very carefully. Pein, Sasori and Madara." She turned to said people. "You would have never had a chance with me. Ever. So don't try and get me to like you." They nodded, everyone stil mute. Itachi moved from the bed to stand next to Alex. He put a hand on her shoulder which made her very calm. "Heed these next words. Where there is a demon, there is death." Then the demon left, but she still had her memory. "Everyone out!" She yelled in her normal voice. "And dinner better be done in five minutes!" Alex yelled down the hall at the scampering Akatsuki members.

She turned and sat down on the floor, legs crossed indianstyle. She took a deep breath closing her eyes, and then let it out. Alex did this a few more times. Itachi sat down infront of her and looked at how her facial expression changed from angry to calm and happy. In just a few seconds she was happy and jumped up with open eyes. Alex then proceeded to give Itachi a hug.

"Thanks for listening." She said with a happy tune in her voice. Itachi wrapped an arm around her waist and one around her shoulders.

"I'll always be here to listen." Itachi replied giving her a tight hug before they both pulled away. "I take it you haven't eaten anything today, right?" He asked. He got his reply when Alex's stomach decided to growl loudly for its lack of food.

"Let me get my hoodie first." She whispered going to get said item out of the bathroom. She re-entered the room with the hoodie unzipped and a skip in her step. "Let's go eat!" Alex said happily bouncing to Itachi's side. He smiled at her and they left the room, Itachi had an arm around her waist.

They entered the kitchen and immediately everything went quiet. Alex eyed the food on the table then hopped into a seat.

"Itadakimasu!" She said happily taking her chopsticks and digging in. Itachi took the seat beside her and began eating his food aswell. About halfway through dinner Alex put down her chopsticks and clapped her hands gaining everyones attention immediately. "I want Sasori to move his crap out of our room and Kisame to move back in." She stated. Kisame choked on his food. "And I want it done before seven." She added returning to her food.

Kisame and Sasori shoveled down their food and immediately left the table afterwards.

Alex finished her food a few minutes after them and thanked for the food. She waited in her seat for Itachi to finish, while looking at a specific money hog with a devious smirk. Kakuzu shook in his seat. "I want 12 000 Ryo tomorrow morning to buy clothes and other items that I will need." She stated with a glint in her eyes when he shook his head wildly.

"No." Kakuzu said in protest.

"Oh yes." Alex retorted. "Or I'll remove all your hearts. And trust me I know how." Kakuzu froze in his seaat then nodded in defeat. "Good." She stood from her seat with a happy smile. "I wanna watch a movie." She said happily letting Itachi guide her to the livingroom with an arm around her waist. She spotted the TV and rushed over searching for a movie. "Blade!" She put the movie in and jumped onto the couch, and onto Itachi's lap.

"What's wrong with her?" Kisame asked from the doorway.

"You say something fishy?" Alex asked from the couch daring him to speak again. He shook his head wildly. Everyone gathered in the livingroom but sat as far away from Alex as possible.

'Motherfucker you outta your damn mind!' Blade yelled at a cop. Alex was cheering Blade on.

"Go get that asshole! Put some silver into his head!" She yelled pointing wildly at Quinn who fled the scene with a missing arm.

When the movie came to where the Bloodgod was to be awaken Alex was silent and stared at the screen.

Decan Frost was already in position until a foot was put into the screen. Everyone turned to Alex with utter horror, except Itachi. "I hate that guy. La'magra will not awaken and Blade will become the best ever." Hidan stared at her with an open mouth but said nothing when she broke the DVD. "I loved that movie up until the part where Decan Frost became the bloodgod." She sighed then jumped back to Itachi. "Now I wanna go sleep~." She said with a puppy face and pecked him on the lips.

"It was nice knowing everyone." Kisame whispered exiting the livingroom after Itachi and Alex. When Alex was in the shower he turned to Itachi with a smug grin. "So how does it feel having a girl that is completely loopy?"

Itachi glared at him for calling her that. "Don't call her that if you don't know of her past." He stated activating his sharingan.

Kisame gulped and refrased his words. "How does it feel to be her girlfriend then?" He asked in a scared tone. Itachi didn't answer. And awkward silence filled the room.

"You fucking asshole!" Alex yelled from the bathroom. Itachi rushed in to find Alex clutching her arm as blood seeped through her fingers.

"What happened?" He asked taking bandages from the cupboard while she sat on the toilet holding her towel up.

"The bloody shower is out to get me. And I did nothing to it!" Alex answered holding out her arm to let Itachi bandage it up. When he finished there was sputtering heard from the door. Alex glared daggers at Kisame while he clutched his nose. "Get out." She hissed at him.

Itachi grabbed Kisame by the arm and dragged him out of the bathroom. "What do you think you are doing?" Itachi growled activating his sharingan on his partner. Kisame's face grew pale and he waved his hands infront of his face in panic.

"I-its not what you think! I just wanted to see why she screamed!" Kisame said falling on his bed. Itachi backed away when Alex stepped out of the bathroom fully cloathed.

She snarled at Kisame then turned to Itachi with the happiest of smiles. She hugged him tightly. "The shower is free. Just be carefull that it doesn't attack you." She said in a soft voice standing on her toes to kiss Itachi. Then she went to his bed and sat down while he went into the bathroom. Kisame was as white as a ghost when she stared at him. "What were you doing in the bathroom?" She asked in a calm voice.

Kisame swore something inside him withered and died when he looked at her face. She was too calm. "I-I-I just wanted to know why you screamed." He replied. She nodded her head and he thought he was safe until she stood up and walked over to him, with a calm pace. She stood infront of him and reached out a hand.

"And you didn't think it would be wise to stay out of the bathroom while I was undressed?" Alex asked grabbing him by the throat. She lifted him off his bed and held him a foot from the floor. Even though she was shorter than him, she could still hold him that far off the floor. Kisame tried to get free but she clutched her hand tighter around his neck making him choke. "Next time. Think before you act." She said in her calm voice dropping him to the floor. Then she went back to Itachi's bed and sat down just as he came out of the bathroom. Kisame ran at top speed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

Itachi raised an eyebrow and moved to the bed to sit next to a very calm Alex. "What did you do to him?" He asked. Alex turned to Itachi and smiled.

"Just warned him to think next time before he goes in to investigate a situation." Alex said with a cute smile. Itachi dared not to smirk and hugged Alex.

"That would teach him." Itachi said with a smile. Alex yawned and fell asleep in Itachi's arms instantly. Itachi piacked her up carefully and placed her under his blanket.

Kisame sneakily crept out of the bathroom but froze when Itachi spoke.

"Did you learn your lesson?" Itachi asked not even looking at Kisame.

"Y-yes!" Kisame squeaked diving under his blanket like a scared kid.

"Good." Itachi said climbing under the covers next to Alex and falling asleep. Kisame who was scared out of his wits, stayed awake to keep and eye on Alex. Little did the shark know what he would be staying awake for.

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A/N: well readers? If you think its good please put up a review on what you think of the chapter! And Itachi won in the competition! So sorry if anyone else wanted Alex to end up with someone else. You can tell me in a review who you wanted her to be with and I'll maybe put up a special chapter for you! Now review if you want to! And stay tuned for the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: the demons of dreams.

A/N: so what happened last in the story? Oh yeah... Kisame stayed awake... To keep an eye on Alex... Idiot. (Mwahahahahahaha) Anyways! Enjoy this chapter and ont forget to review when your done! If you guys get confused with this chapter just know that her dream changes a few times. And just a reminder: I do not own Naruto! And shit I'm gonna be killed right? I wanna put up another story -facepalm-.

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3:30 am~

Kisame stared at the ceiling unable to sleep. Why? Because he was scared that Alex might murder him in his sleep. He shuddered at the thought.

"Hey." Alex mumbled in her sleep. Kisame shot up and stared at her. "Where are you taking me?" She mumbled and turned under the blankets facing away from Itachi. "Alek. Tell me." She muttered her voice changing somewhat. "Stop!" She said in a higher voice waking Itachi. He sat up and looked at Alex. He frowned when he noticed that her brows were showing stress. "Alek. Stop this nonsense and go home." She said in a stern tone."No! Get away from me!" Her face turned into rage and hate. Itachi shook her shoulder but she was stil fast asleep, like the dream keeps her from waking up. Itachi tried harder but she stil would not wake up. "Asshole! I hope no one finds you. I thought your were my friend. Guess I was wrong there, like the crazy, pshychpathic, mentally impaled bitch that I am, right?" She snarled opening her eyelids a little. Itachi saw that her eyes were a red colour.

He turned her head to face him and activated his sharingan, entering her mind. Itachi saw Alex in a fighting stance, covered from head to toe in blood. There was a boy laying a few feet away from her. Dead. 'What? Alex would never do this.' He thought looking closer at Alex. A shadow was looming over her.

"Oh Alex, Alex, Alex. If only you wouldve figured out that all this isn't real, but an illusion for you." The shadow said.

Alex whipped around and tried to punch the shadow, but her fist went right through him. "Who are you?" She snarled backing away.

Itachi watched her facial expression closely. It was that of experience and hate. 'Why is she like that? This is not Alex.'

"Why be so modest, to the demon of illusions?" The shadow asked.

'Demon of illusions? But what would a demon want with Alex?' Itachi asked himself.

"What do you want with me? Delrick." Alex spat out the name like it was poison.

The shadow laughed. "Good memory. But that won't save you from me." The shadow lunged at Alex. The only thing Itachi could think was jumping infront of her to block out the attack. He used his sharingan to put the demon into 72 hours of agonising pain. "What is this?" The shadow hissed standing infront of Itachi.

"This is the sharingan. And what do you want with Alex? She has done nothing to deserve this." Itachi said unsheathing a katana.

The shadow let out a deep throated laugh. "You don't have any idea how great her mind is do you?" The shadow asked.

"What are you talking about?" Itachi asked getting into a fighting stance.

"I'm saying that Alexandra's mind is a power source for all demons. It holds much preserved energy." The shadow said trying to move.

"You will leave her alone, understood." Itachi said with a smirk as he noticed that the shadow tried to break free of his sharingan.

"If only that were possible." The shadow said with a chuckle. "Alex is a magnet for demons of all kinds, but she doesn't know it. All she knows is that demons are sworming around her, and that she doesn't have the power to get rid of them." The shadow said with glee.

Itachi stabbed the shadow with his katana. Again and again, he stabbed the shadow. All the while saying. "I will help her get rid of you if I have to. Alex is strong in body and mind. She can and will destroy all the demons you say will come for her. And I will be there to help her if its needed." Itachi deactivated his sharingan after returning from Alex's dream. He looked at how relaxed her face looked.

"So what did you see?" Kisame whispered peeking out under his blanket. He saw the look of worry in his partners eyes. "Itachi is there something wrong with Alex?" Kisame asked in a worried tone. (Yeah he's scared shitless of her, but doesn't want his partner to be lonely.)

"Its something I need to talk to her about." Itachi replied as Alex giggled.

"Hey Mad Hatter, am I late for tea?" She mumbled with a smile. Itachi's worry faded and he gave a small smile cupping Alex's face with his left hand. He turned her face to his and watched as she giggled continuously, his smile never fading. Itachi layed back down and pulled Alex close to him, meaning he put her on his chest, then he put his right arm around her waist and held her while she giggled and mumbled in her sleep.

"You think she's troubled by something?" Kisame asked gathering up his leftover courage and sitting up in his bed. He saw the smile on Itachi's face and decided to leave the subject alone. Itachi looked happy to him for once, so he did not dare ruin the mood.

Alex giggled. "Why is the white rabbit bouncing on Sasuke's head?" She asked loudly to show she was laughing in the dream. Itachi chuckled and Kisame tried not to laugh. "Why is Itachi not wearing a shirt?" She blushed. "Not that I don't mind the view." She mumbled getting a small nosebleed. Messing up Itachi's shirt.

Kisame smirked. 'Now I've got something to use against her!' He yelled with joy in his head. Itachi took off his bloody shirt and wiped the remaining blood from Alex's nose.

"Alex is happy." Itachi whispered to himself. "And it will stay that way." He whispered hugging Alex around the waist with his right arm while his right hand moved to push her hair behind her ear. He smiled looking down at her face. "Do you hear me, Kisame?" Itachi asked looking over at said person. Kisame turned as white as a ghost and nodded.

"Loud and clear." Kisame said quietly.

"Good. Now go to sleep." Itachi said sternly looking down at Alex who was giggling and singing in her sleep.

"You would not believe your eyes. If ten million fireflies, Lit up the world as I fell asleep. 'Cause they'd fill the open air, And leave tear drops everywhere. You'd think me rude, But I would just stand and stare." She sang in a soft, caring voice. It was hypnotizing, drawing both males into a daze. "When dreaming I'm guided to another world. Time and time again. At sunrise I fight to stay asleep. 'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place. 'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape. From the life I live when I'm awake. So let's go there. Let's make our escape. Come on, let's go there. Let's ask can we stay?" Itachi leaned down to kiss Alex on the forehead.

Alex was silent for a few minutes before she giggled rather loudly. Itachi looked down at her face and saw she was in a really happy place now.

"Black bunnies are cute and nice, yellow bunnies hearts are cold as ice, red bunnies like wood and puppets, brown bunnies hog valuables and cash, silver bunnies like a blood bash." Alex was singing a bunny song about the Akatsuki (wicked!). "Blue bunnies are perverts and eat fish, green bunnies house plants and eat meat, orange bunnies frown in defeat, black and orange bunnies are cruel and need to be dipped in acid." She sang the last part with glee, snuggling closer to Itachi as she started waking up.

Itachi shifted Alex with his arm so she could sleep longer. She giggled and snuggled closer to his open chest. Itachi smiled down at her taking in how happy she is.

Alex's eyes slowly opened and she blushed when she saw Itachi without his shirt. "Morning." She whispered looking up at him with a smile.

"Morning." Itachi replied with a small smile and leaned down to kiss her on the lips. She nearly melted at his touch when he licked her bottom lip. She willingly opened her mouth. Meanwhile Kisame sat on his bed staring wide eyed at the scene.

'They are actually kissing! Go Itachi!' He cheered in his head and let out a wolf whistle.

Alex pushed away from Itachi and hissed. "Do you want to lose something?" She asked turning to Kisame. Kisame clamped his mouth shut and shook his head wildly. "Then shut it." She said turning back to Itachi with a happy smile. He was glaring at Kisame. She giggled grabbing his attention. "Don't scold him yet." She whispered and hung onto 'yet' turning to Kisame who was as white as a ghost. His plan for blackmailing her flew out the window. Alex giggled like a demon then turned back Itachi and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Her stomach grumbled showing it was 6:30. Alex blushed and hid her face in her hands. Itachi smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Hungry?" He asked when she hugged him back.

"Yeah." She mumbled hiding her face in his chest. "Let's go get breakfast." Alex said looking up through her hair. Her cerulean eyes showing a glint of mischieviousness. Itachi noticed this and quirked an eyebrow.

"What are you planning?" Itachi asked with a smile. Alex grinned in reply and jumped out of the bed. She went over to the door and opened it slowly, then she stepped into the hallway. She took a deep breath and waited.

Then it came. "Rise and shine people! Let's go get breakfast!" Alex screamed with her hands in the air. Several doors flew open and everyone stormed out of their rooms to look at Alex who had a wicked grin plastered on her face. "Good morning. Go get dressed and let's go get breakfast in the nearest village." She said and re-entered her room while listening to everyones protests. She giggled and bounced happily to Itachi's dresser.

She pulled out a black shirt with the Uchiha crest on and blackish blue pants that came to her ankles.

"I'll be back." Alex said stepping into the bathroom to change. She came out brushing her hair with Kisame's brush. "Never thought Kisame even knew how to brush his hair." She laughed throwing the brush at said person. "C'mon Itachi! I've got an idea!" She said grabbing Itachi's hand and leading him to the bathroom. "Wait here." She said moving to his dresser and this time pulling out a greyish shirt and black pants. "Here you go." She said handing him the clothing and closing the door so he could get dressed. She turned to Kisame and grinned. "You too fishy." He was about to open his mouth in protest but clamped it shut.

Itachi stepped out of the bathroom and Alex laughed at how his hair stood at the back.

"Your hair reminds me of a cockatoo's behind. But Sasuke's is worse." Alex chuckled jumping into a hug. She ran her fingers through his hair and flattened it out. "There. Now you don't look like a retarded birdie." She giggled and gave him a peck on the lips. "Let's go wait by the door for the others, shall we." Alex said grabbing Itachi's hand and hopping out of the room to wait by the front door. Itachi willingly followed at his own pace while holding onto Alex's hand as she skipped. When they got to the front door, Alex stopped and turned to Itachi with her mischievious smile.

Itachi picked her up by the waist with one arm and held her. "What are you planning?" He asked while she giggled and held up a finger to her pink lips.

"Its a secret." She whispered in his ear. Alex pulled her head back to look at his face. "So I can't tell you. You just have to keep your guard up today." She said with a devilish grin. Itachi chuckled and kissed her when she least expected it, catching her off guard. She gasped as his other arm snaked around her waist and up her back. She parted her lips for his tongue to enter her mouth.

Itachi's tongue explored her mouth and his left hand went up and down under her (his) shirt. She shivered when the leathe muscle rubbed against her pink apendage, getting too intoxicated in the moment.

Meanwhile Sasori, Pein and Madara had a secret meeting in the kitchen.

"This is not allowed." Pein stated sending a glare into the livingroom along with Sasori and Madara.

"Its unacceptable." Madara added. Sasori was the only one not to speak in this situation. "Itachi can not, and **will** not take Alex for himself." He paused and took a deep breath. "He barely knows anything about her." Madara said in an annoyed tone.

There was a dark chuckle at the table. "Oh he knows a lot about the young fox." All three males turned to see a tall woman, clad in a shimmering white cloak, standing by the table.

"And who are you?" Pein asks.

"Someone who can make your life a living hell with just a snap of my fingers." The woman, also known as Negane (A/N: see chapter one if you forgot), said with a grin.

It was Madara who spoke next. "And how much exactly, does Itachi know about Alex?" He asked wearing that ridiculously stupid mask.

"A lot more than what you three do now. And it would be best to leave Alex alone from now on." Negane said with a dark tone in her voice.

And finally Sasori decides to speak. "Why?" He asked in a monotone voice.

Negane thought about it for a moment before replying. "A reason that only Alex knows, and Itachi too perhaps." She then turned to regard Sasori himself. "And its best not to ask questions you don't want to know the answers to." Then she was gone leaving all three males to wonder what in the seven fucking seas she was talking about.

8:40 AM~

"So why exactly do we all have to go to a village for breakfast today?" Konan asked a little ways behind the couple infront. Alex was leading the way with a very mischievious smirk.

"Not gonna tell you~." Alex said happily skipping infront of the group, Itachi followed behind her keeping his guard up as she told him to. Alex suddenly stopped and turned to survey everyone. "Hmmm. There's something wrong with this picture." She said softly holding her chin. Then it hit her. "Go on ahead. I'll be right behind you!" She yelled running into the forest.

"What the..." Was what everyone said but Itachi interrupted them from thinking further.

"Let's get moving." He said and continued walking to the village. Itachi had some sort of idea what she was planning, and he didn't like it one bit. 'In her dreams she's fighting demons, but when she's awake... She is completely different.' He thought keeping his face as emotionless as possible. Pein, Sasori and Madara were in the back of the group sulking like spoiled brats (and what? They aren't? Yeah right.).

Alex appeared right infront of Sasuke scaring the living daylights out of him. He did that rhetorical ballerina move which made her smirk.

"Nice to see you too, Sasuke." Alex said with a very huge smirk. She looked like the cheshire cat on stroids!

"What the- how did you find us?!" Karin shouted. Along with Suigetsu who did the rhetorical ballerina too. (Just imagine it! Youl be laughing for eternity!)

Alex turned to face Juugo, the only one who hasn't greeted her yet. "Doesn't the crazy bitch get a hello?" She asked with a pouty face. He looked at her like she was retarded.

"You look retarded." Juugo stated backing away when her cheshire grin reappeared.

"Before you think of attacking me, Karin. Please let me tell you all why I'm here." Alex said turning to said person who was sneaking up behind her. Karin stood there in complete shock. Alex smirked at her victory. Then rounded on Sasuke who was trying to make a run for it, he knew what she wanted, or well sort of. "Hold it right there cockatoo but!" Sasuke froze where he was. "You are coming with me." She said happily grabbing his hand and disappearing. The remaing three of team Hebi stood shocked.

The Akatsuki stood at the gate of the hotspring village waiting for Alex. They didn't have to wait long though. Why? Because Alex popped up right infront of them with a shocked as hell Sasuke.

"Hope I didn't have to make you wait too long." Alex said with a smug grin at everyone faces.

They were staring at Sasuke with flabbergasted expressions. Then Sasuke spotted Itachi and tried to attck, but a strong grip on his hand held him in place.

"Na-ah. No fighting." Alex said with a stern voice making Sasuke face her. "I brought you here for a reason." She said with a grin at his reaction. Itachi walked over to Alex and stared at Sasuke.

"Now I would like to know what you have planned." Itachi said turning to Alex. She was grinning from ear to ear. And anyone who knows her, knows that its nothing good.

Alex let go of Sasuke's hand and turned her attention to Itachi. "Still not gonna tell." She said with her grin then turned back to Sasuke who was shocked again. "Listen and do exactly as I tell you, or you'll lose some parts that are very special." Sasuke nodded and backed away sending a glare at Itachi. "Good. Now-" she turned to face the Akatsuki. "Let's get breakfast shall we." She said happily skipping into the village.

Sasuke looked at everyone then turned his full attention to his brother. "What is that loopy bitch planning?" He asked folding his arms over his chest and glaring at Itachi. In all honesty, something about Alex scares him shitless.

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A/N: sorry I have to cut this chapter in half for now. I will be posting a new story very soon. I will be naming it: The bitch of life.

So please everyone read and review! Until next time!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four: what did you say?

A/N: now please this is a request from me. Read my other stories and tell me if I should continue with them or not. But please refrain from any violence while putting up the review.

Now enjoy!

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The Akatsuki and Sasuke stood at the gates of the hotspring village. Why? Because Alex heard Sasuke call her loopy and she stood in her spot.

"What did you just call me?" Alex asked turning around VERY slowly to face Sasuke. The akatsuki looked at Sasuke with sorry faces.

"Good-bye." They all said and went into the village except for Itachi. Sasuke stood frozen on the spot when Alex looked at him with wild eyes.

"I will ask you again." Alex said slowly. "What did you call me?" She asked taking a step closer to Sasuke, but her voice was a little different, the demons voice.

"I'd answer her if I were you!" Kisame shouted at Sasuke from the gate.

Sasuke swallowed. "I c-c-called y-y-you a l-loopy b-b-bitch." He stuttered out.

Alex appeared infront of him with a frown. "You should not call someone a name if you do not know of their past." Alex said in a low voice grabbing Sasuke's privates and twisting them painfully. Sasuke screamed like a girl.

"Ooo! I feel sorry for him." Every guy in the Akatsuki, except Itachi, said holding their balls for protection.

"Apologize!" Alex yelled twisting more of Sasuke's jewels. Sasuke screamed.

"No!" Sasuke tried getting out of her grasp but she clutched his jewels tighter. "Alright! Alright! I'm sorry!" He started crying.

"That's better." Alex said letting go of his jewels. "Be a good boy from now on." Her voice was normal again but sadistic as she patted his jewels with her right hand. Sasuke whimpered and scurried away from Alex to stand behind Itachi.

"I think the Uchiha pride is gone from him, un." Deidara whispered to Kisame who nodded.

"Alright everyone!" Alex yelled clapping her hands. "The reason I have brought Sasuke here is so that he and Itachi can get along. And the reason I have brought everyone else is so we can go shopping!" I'm pretty sure Kakuzu just lost one of his hearts.

"NOOOOOO!" Kakuzu yelled falling to his knees in tears. "My money. My precious money." He sobbed.

Alex was about to speak again when there was a sudden blackness taking over her vision.

Alexis shot up in bed sweating and panting. "Wow that was one hell of a dream." She looked down at her bedding. "Oh for funny fucksakes!" She yelled getting out of the tangled mess and walking quickly to her bathroom. "Never again am I watching anime before bed." Alexis mumbled looking in the mirror at her reflection. She sighed, undressed and got into the shower.

Without anything to do on a saturday, Alexis thought about the dream.

"Ok let me get this straight." Alexis sighed and plonked down on her sofa. "I stabbed myself, got a second chance in the naruto world, had a harem, got a boyfriend, made the boyfriends brother an it and had demons in my sleep." She sat back in her chair and almost choked on the words. "I was a fucking loony for the Akatsuki! What the hell?!"

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A/N: I know its not long but I have a plan. This is the last chapter for this story. But do not fear! There will be a sequal! Leave a review on your way out!


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